Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
