Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
