Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
