Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
