I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
