If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I still have a little drunk in my system
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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