youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
