Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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