um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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