We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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