Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
...so i touched it.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Randomize
