Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
