Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
What a dumb baby whore.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
