wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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