yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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