You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
