i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
