that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
