he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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