tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
