That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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