So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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