It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
