do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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