Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize