Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
