I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My dick has a subreddit
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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