I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
