help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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