You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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