I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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