remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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