i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
