I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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