There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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