oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
