I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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