grandma shit on top of the toilet
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I don't think brook has ever known best
17 year olds will be the death of me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
