he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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