around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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