I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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