I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
