just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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