Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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