Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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