Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
