yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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