i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just blew my weed a kiss
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
