just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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