so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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