I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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