weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
