I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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