Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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