already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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