Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
