we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
