NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
