for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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