I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
